June212012

feeling inadequate?

I sure am.
This will be sort of a rant, so if you’re having a really good day (which I hope you are!) I suggest you skip this.

Lately I’ve just been feeling really inadequate and out of place. I get this sometimes, I know it passes. But while it’s happening, I just feel like giving up on everything.

I have body issues a lot of the time and focusing on that gets me in a bad mood. I’m a bit pudgy, chubby, flabby w/e. And I have quite the amount of friends who just have selfconfidence and extreme beauty. I can’t seem to figure ou why I drown myself.

I’ve lately been feeling really good about myself, actually. I’ve been feeling curvacious and sexy, like a pin-up girl. Which of course helps with my confidence of being Mama Scout. But now, knowing that I am soon going to Belgium on vacation, I worry.

What if my bikini body isn’t as sexy as I think it looks? Why do I even worry about possible strangers disliking me?

I feel bad when I’m sitting down and I know that my friends and gf can see my protruding stomach, my flab.

I’m not looking for answers, because I know very well that I can only fix this myself.

And then comes my art. Man, my art.. I feel caught in a hole. I’ve tried over the past years to do some comissions, to get my art up and running. Not exactly popular, but at least a bit known. Because that’s what I aspire to become. Known for my work.
I appreciate every last person who follows me, because it shows me that there are indeed people who likes my art, even just a little.

So I guess, instead of a rant, I’ll just say;

Thank you. Thank you for following me. I really appreciate and love every last one of you. <3

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